As so many reveal themselves, they struggle with the unintended collateral damage to their current relationships. Mother, father, sister, brother, friends, and co-workers, living and interacting within the world that had been built year by year, for decades. The status quo shifts and is held to a different standard, with bigger questions, bigger grief, and of chaos never felt before.
ZACH MACKEY’s life changed, out of his need to free from the shackles, and living as he is; as true as he can start as a human being. Conflict from without, predictably, and sadly comes from the closest ones you’d ever known, and loved.
A diabolically challenging and tumultuous time, where earthquakes to the things you’ve known, start collapsing – breaking you apart.
“This song is a tough one to explain briefly,” contemplated Zach. “I came out as gay in April of 2017 to my pentecostal Christian mother. I was horribly terrified to do so, but I bit the bullet and tried to be honest. So began a (still) constant battle with my mother on if this is real or if God can fix me. This past May, my mother and sister came to visit me in LA and the worst of fights broke out on the matter. I wrote this song, alone, explaining how I was giving up. The idea of a functional relationship of me being 100% myself was shot out the window at that point for me. Over and over again, I would talk to myself on how I could get my mother to see me for who I am. But at the end of every sentence, I would always say “What can I say to you?”
‘What Can I Say?’ is one of Zach’s ways to cope. But most of all, it’s a silent but boisterous request to his family, about loving him, as he is, as he loves them for who they are.
But Zach’s his mother’s boy; his sister’s sibling – as torn, he wields no malice. Just frustration, and anger, shared through song.
Maybe a question that might never be answered.